Ghosted: A Paranormal Romantic Comedy Read online

  The music raged on, and the lights kept flashing as the two creatures twirled around each other. I sat in a trance, my mission with Karen long since forgotten. As far as I was concerned, I was here to party, not study some old, washed-up monster.

  The elf dropped her robe, exposing her petite breasts. Her nipples were dark as midnight. The crowd chanted from below, grinding up against each other.

  The giant creature licked his lips with an unusually large tongue before his entire body began to twitch. His robe fell to the ground around his feet, which were no longer feet but tentacles. My eyes snapped up toward his naked body where eight, ten, fifteen, or more tentacles writhed. I gasped in horror—and maybe a little in excitement. I’d never seen an alien before. I hadn’t even believed in them. Anything from space had ceased to exist in my mind or my magical realm—until now at least.

  My attention stayed glued to the stage. The alien picked the elf up, suspending her in the air with his tentacles. He pinned her wrists behind her back and began to probe her. One tentacle slid over her mouth, pushing down her lower lip. She turned her head, catching it between her teeth and snarling. He shook his head, grinning with fangs longer than a vampire’s. Another tentacle shot out, probing her between the legs, then another, and another. She moaned, tossing and turning in his grip.

  I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. It seemed like she had a tentacle in every hole. I didn’t know much about an elf’s inner workings, but either she didn’t have any or he had poked holes through her heart, liver, and spleen. At one point, I swore I’d seen the tip of a tentacle wiggle out of her ear and wave to the crowd.

  I hadn’t noticed Karen was gone until I heard a commotion coming from the bogeyman’s table. I looked at her empty chair beside me before glancing as slyly as I could toward Bruno. She’d weaseled her way to him. Literally. I’d seen her perform that spell twice before. She’d turned herself into a rodent and tried to work undercover, gathering whatever information she could. But Karen’s spell wasn’t a match for the bogeyman and his pack. He was clutching her in his palm, and he squeezed until she fell limp, transforming back into her witchy self. The wolves dragged her out before I could catch up. I couldn’t save her from her own stupid mistakes. She had known she was playing with fire.

  Thankfully, Bruno hadn’t seen me with her. Or at least, if he had, he wouldn’t recognize me today. Back then, I’d sported a porn ’stache and a mullet. I doubted I looked anything like my old self. I considered us safe as long as no one found out Claire was human.

  I held her hand as we stepped into The Cave. The vibe felt much more different than the last time I had been here. The music echoed off the walls, and the lights still flashed, but things looked more … sinister.

  “Chin up. Shoulders back. Look like a succubus. You’re from the pits of hell. Remember that,” I whispered, side-eyeing her and squeezing her hand in mine.

  She straightened her spine and fluttered her lashes before giving me a devilish grin. My breath caught in my throat as I picked up on her emotions. She wasn’t scared anymore. The energy she had bounced off of me. It was thrilling, exalting, and seductive. My dick twitched in response.

  “Phew. Okay. Like that.” I ran my fingers through my hair.

  Every tingle, every blood pump, and every feisty heartbeat that Claire gave off hit me tenfold. I’d never been in tune with anyone like this before.

  I quickly pulled Claire through the crowd. No one paid us any attention or batted their eyes at us, except a group of vampires who sniffed the air when we passed. I steered her in a different direction and as far away from the vamps as possible. I didn’t stop until we could no longer see a toothy fang in sight. We passed the stage where I’d watched alien porn. There weren’t any exciting shows tonight—only a spiky-haired zombie on a turntable. Behind him hung a banner with the words DJ Carl written in blood.

  “Where is he?” Claire asked, bobbing back and forth to the beats.

  We mingled in a mixed crowd of gnomes, elves, and even ogres. The smell of an ogre was distinctive, atrocious, and downright gag-inducing. Surely, it could cover up any human scent clinging to Claire.

  I nodded toward the table in the back. He sat in the same place, guarded by more wolves. No doubt, these wolves were much younger. Their mouths hung open, growling. Every once in a while, one would howl and set off the rest in a chorus of echoes.

  “Right there. Center seat. Those men in suits with the yellow eyes are his guards—or his wolfpack.”

  Bruno hadn’t aged a day. I’d never noticed him much when Karen was around, but now, standing even in the same room with him made me feel as small and insignificant as the gnome twerking on my shin. His broad shoulders nearly burst out of his tailored suit, which was left unbuttoned at the collar. The mythical gold chain sparkled from underneath, reflecting the flashing lights. His dark hair lay messily tousled, like he’d just come out of a hard-core romp in bed. His black eyes smoldered beneath full lashes. They smoldered! Mine only blazed.

  “Wow,” she said. Her tail swished behind her, slapping up against me. “I didn’t think the bogeyman would look like that. I’d not be afraid for him to crawl out from under my bed. In fact, I’d welcome it. Lay out a glass of wine, light some candles, and invite that monster to eat me up.”

  “Okay, okay, I get it.” I scowled. “He’s a good-looking guy.”

  “He’s more than good-looking! That man is straight sex. See the way his jawline—”

  “Ugh,” I groaned, clenching my jawline, which was apparently less stellar than Mr. Bogey-Douche’s. “I’m glad you found your mate. Maybe he can grant you some wishes, and I’ll be on my merry way then.”

  “Wait. Are you jealous?” She smirked, turning her back to him and her attention toward me.

  I’d never been jealous before in my hundreds of years. I’d thought whatever feelings ran through me were just my reaction to hers. I’d never thought I’d experience this level of humanity. I couldn’t. I was a genie. But then again, I’d not met someone like Claire before either. She hadn’t been immediately impressed with me. I had to work for it with her. As much as I liked her, she was a mere human, and I was a useless genie. Besides, she was eager to get back to her world. Claire wasn’t interested in anything, except my wishes.

  “Huh. I guess so. I only feel you radiating a lot of pleasure from staring at him, which bounces off me and makes—oh, for fuck’s sake. So, that’s what jealousy feels like. I get why Karen broke Emry’s bottle now. I’d probably have done worse!” My muscles flexed involuntarily beneath my shirt.

  Claire laughed. “He’s just a monster. You’re my genie. Now, let’s get that chain.”

  She looked up at me, fluttered her wings until she hovered inches above the ground, and planted a kiss on my cheek. I couldn’t control myself. Jealousy was a fickle bitch. I put my arm around her, pulling her tight against me, and took more. She pushed her mouth harder against mine. I slipped my tongue over her lips. Her heartbeat pulsed against my chest, echoing loudly against my empty chambers, as if I had a heart of my own. I felt myself throb, feeding off her vibes as I gently lowered her to the ground.

  “Let’s get that chain,” I said.

  “Yes,” she breathed out, stumbling. “Chain.”

  I turned away, so she couldn’t see my goofy grin. I’d managed to somehow sweep her off her feet without even trying.

  Eat that, Booger-Man!

  I searched for a distraction, wiggling myself free of the rascals clinging to me. One gnome in particular wouldn’t stop humping my knee.

  “Excuse me, sir,” I asked, tapping him on his head.

  “Gobliwankinstein,” he responded, still going at it.

  I sighed. I didn’t speak Gnomish.

  “I’m really sorry to have to do this, but you see, I’m not always a good genie. Sometimes, people rub me the wrong way. Like right now. That’s my leg you’re assaulting.”

  “Sisoputch.” He
laughed, holding on to me tighter.

  I gasped. “Well, now, you’ve gone and done it. I was trying to be nice. But that’s the tip of the iceberg. The straw that broke the camel’s back. Or as I like to call it, the gnome that humped its last leg. Good day, sir.” I grabbed the little man by his giant head and tossed him into the air before punting him straight toward the wolves.

  They reacted as I’d expected. The werewolves ferociously broke out of their clothes, transforming into their true form, and chased after the gnome as if he were a tennis ball.

  “Quick, seduce Bruno. I’m right behind you. I’ll be watching. Go before those dumb dogs get back!” I pushed Claire toward the bogeyman’s table.

  “How the hell do I know what to say? What to do? I can’t flirt! I get stupefied around hot men, if you haven’t noticed.”

  “Are you saying I’m hot?” I wiggled my brows.

  “Just forget it. I’m going. I’m going.” She turned on her heels and trudged through the crowd.

  I watched as she flicked her tail back and forth in front of his table. She turned to him and made eye contact before looking back toward the stage.

  Playful. She doesn’t do that with me!

  His stupid, smoldering eyes fucked her before he motioned for her to join him.

  She swaggered—yes, swaggered—toward him. Her breasts bounced with each step she took. I inched my way toward them, casting glances at the werewolves chasing that poor asshole gnome.

  Bruno laughed, shooing his hand away toward his pack. Claire touched her collar and threw her head back in laughter too. I clenched my jaw and wondered why I hadn’t just walked up to him and taken the damn chain from his neck.

  The werewolves howled as the gnome escaped under a rock.

  “Enough!” Bruno yelled, standing up and silencing the club. His voice carried over the music, the crowd, and his wolfpack.

  The walls inside The Cave rumbled, sending bits of crumbling rock down on us. The werewolves came back with their tails tucked between their legs, and DJ Carl began to play again.

  Claire reached up, patting her head, where one of her horns had suddenly disappeared. She searched the crowd until her gaze met mine, a look of horror shadowing her face. I flew by her side in a flash.

  “Hello, Bruno. Pleased to meet you. I’m Dylan. I see you found my drunky friend. She has such a bad habit of wandering off when she’s had too much to drink. It’s the spirits that get her. Banshee water especially. Sorry if she was a bother.” I cringed, hoping he would fall for the bro-code look I was giving him, letting him know this lady was batshit crazy.

  Claire’s wings began to sink, slowly fading into her back.

  “What’s that smell?” one of the bigger werewolves asked, pausing as he pulled his pants over his legs.

  I always thought it must suck to have to dress and undress so much as a shifter. I only had to twirl around, and—voilà!—I was naked in no time.

  Bruno sniffed the air.

  I grabbed Claire’s hand and tugged her away, apologizing. “They’re only smells!” I called back, leading her away. Far, far away.

  “We didn’t get the chain. Magic me up again! I can do it! He liked me!”

  “No. Keep walking. Toward the car. Now! Once we’re out of The Cave, hang on to me. Do not let go, no matter what. Understand?” I gritted my teeth and pushed us through the crowd.

  “I trust you,” she said.

  I believed her because I felt it. But that wasn’t enough to keep Claire from fear. She felt that her life was in danger—and rightfully so. The wolves were right behind us. I could smell their bloodlust. The Karma from kicking that gnome had already caught up to me.

  Claire reached behind her, feeling her back before reaching down to feel her butt.

  “My tail and wings are gone! Shit.” She panicked.

  But the more fearful she became, the more protective I grew. We were almost to the entrance when her outfit also disappeared.

  “I’m naked! I’m fucking naked! Dylan!” she cried, running.

  “Lucky me! Hang on tight!” I grabbed her naked body against mine, and in a puff of smoke, I flashed us out of there.

  The swamp, the thicket, and The Cave disappeared in a blur as we flew to the car. Werewolves wouldn’t be able to catch me, and I was too small of a problem for Bruno to deal with. We were safe. At least, for now.

  I opened the car door and stuffed Claire into the driver’s seat before hopping in beside her.

  “I can’t drive naked. And I don’t feel so good. You can’t move me around like that. My body is human. I can’t take it.” She wobbled in her seat.

  I took the key from her hand and put it in the ignition. “You’ll feel better at the hotel. Just drive, and I’ll put some clothes back on you. Whatever you do, don’t just sit there. We have to get out of here! I don’t know how to drive, or I would.”

  A faint howling rang out into the night, waking Claire from her trance.

  “Let’s get out of here!” She floored the gas pedal and took off back down the street.

  We rode in silence until we reached the hotel parking lot.

  “Dylan?” Her voice came out weak.

  “Yes?”

  “You saved me.”

  “I did.” I patted her hand.

  Her exhaustion made me uneasy.

  “Dylan?” she repeated my name.

  The way it hung on her lips tingled my toes.

  “Um, yeah?”

  “You never magicked me up some clothes,” she breathed out, lazily pointing toward her body.

  “Sorry. Eh, can’t say that wasn’t on purpose.” I shrugged. My eyes followed down her beautiful curves and back up again to her halfhearted grin.

  “Tsk, tsk.” She let out two frail laughs before passing out and falling over onto my lap.

  SEVEN

  Claire

  I yawned, stretching my arms over my head and trying to piece together last night’s events. The last thing I remembered was Dylan wrapping me in a blanket and carrying me to the room. He’d tucked me into bed with a playful flick on the nose, sending me straight into a deep sleep. I’d dreamed of Dylan and the way he had stolen that kiss in The Cave. He’d taken my breath away when he pressed his mouth on mine, stupefying me into a happy confusion. I wanted him to do it again.

  “You’re awake,” Dylan said, startling me.

  A dim glow shimmered from beneath his eyelids. He floated softly a few inches above the bed. I ran my hand down the empty sheets beneath him, wishing that he were lying next to me, touching me. The excitement from last night still coursed through my veins, and my dream lingered in my mind.

  “Did I wake you?” I asked.

  “No. I wasn’t slumbering. I can only do that in my room. Immortals don’t sleep like humans. At least, I don’t. I was just closing my eyes and thinking.” He rolled over on top of me, hovering inches above my face.

  “About?” I shifted under the covers, suddenly growing warm.

  “About that kiss and the way your hairs stand on end when I get this close to you.” He lowered himself on top of me, weightless, as if he didn’t exist. “Or the way your cheeks blush when I brush my skin against yours. Or about the way you tasted when I slipped my tongue inside your mouth. I want more, and I think you do too. I heard you whisper my name in your sleep.” He nuzzled his nose to mine before kissing my lips with sweet, quick pecks.

  I held my breath. Each time his lips touched my skin, I felt a spark—a real spark. Not just a tingle. Dylan struck me like a match.

  “Dylan, what’re you doing?” I asked.

  The warmth of his eyes felt like a sunburn across my cheeks.

  “Shh. I’m seeing if the rest of you tastes as good as that delicious mouth of yours.”

  He worked his way down my body, throwing back the blanket and exposing my breasts. My nipples puckered under his breath. He took each one between his teeth and tongue, biting, licking, sucking, and playing. I arched my back and spread my legs
, giving in to him. I wanted him like he’d taken me back at the nightclub—like I was his.

  He nibbled my hips, working his way down to the slick spot between my legs, where I needed him to touch. I opened my legs further and further, begging him without words. His eyes snapped to mine, blazing a searing heat right through me. I felt the warmth from his gaze when he looked back down and spread me with his hand. The slight burning sensation from his flames already had me on edge.

  I bucked against his face, unable to resist much longer. His tongue slid into my pussy and out again, thrusting slowly before repeatedly slipping up and over my clit.

  “Oh, damn. Yes. Don’t stop,” I moaned.

  “Is that a wish?” he mumbled.

  “It’s a command.” I ran my hand through his hair, pushing him into me harder.

  He growled, gazing up at me from between my thighs. I watched him watching me. I couldn’t see his mouth, but I felt his smile. He slipped his hands under my ass and lifted me into his chin, steadily flicking my clit with his tongue. I reached beside me, grabbing the bedsheets and crumpling them in my palms. My legs began to shake as he lifted me. The entire lower half of my body was floating off the bed as he licked me into another dimension.

  I threw my head back, crying out as he took me higher and higher. His fire, his touch, his tongue—all of it consumed me. I fucked his mouth, convulsing against his lips until my body shook with an orgasm that was literally not of this world. I was face-banging a genie.

  Dylan flashed, dropping me back to the bed before bursting out of his shirt and pants. He climbed on top of me, his thick cock stirring against my thigh.

  “I can’t get pregnant or some magical STD, right? Like troll pox or fairy itch?” I asked between heavy breaths.

  “No baby genies, no pox, no itch. Now, command me again. I’m all yours.” He scooped me in his arms and up toward him, holding me as we hovered above the bed.

  “Fuck me.” I lowered my voice, wrapping my arms and legs around him. I knew he wouldn’t let me fall, but sex in the air was a new experience, and gravity still played a role in my world.